{Merry Christmas Eve}

{The Littlest Angel}

We are thrilled to share our very happy news with you...

WE ARE PREGNANT

IVF is giving us a chance at a Christmas miracle. We couldn’t be more grateful to everyone that helped us get to this point. This little babe (or babes) will be loved by so many and that makes my heart so very happy!

I’ve had some people ask me if we know if it is a single or multiple pregnancy. The answer is that we won’t know for a few weeks.

There is a LOT of waiting in this process J

We realize letting all of you know this early can be both a good and a bad thing. Hopefully this will be a strong and healthy pregnancy! We are prepared that anything can happen, and we will figure out how to deal with whatever it is if we need to, but for now we are focusing on our success and JOY!

A few experiences worth noting about this very new pregnancy are noted below:

About 2 minutes after finding out we were pregnant last Friday, I got a call from my step-mother that my dad had suffered a heart attack earlier that day. Even though he was already all set up with a stint in his heart and eating dinner by the time I found out, it added to an already emotionally packed few minutes of my life. He went home on Sunday is recovering...thankfully ANOTHER Christmas miracle J

Second, Monday I was due to go in for a blood test to confirm the pregnancy. Of course that was the day Mother Nature decided to hit us with the biggest snow storm we’ve seen in over two years. It didn’t stop me though…but it really should’ve! I drove across town and got stuck in a neighborhood only about 2 blocks from my doctor’s office. I knew I was going to get stuck and picked a street where I was hoping people were nice. I lucked out because there were THREE very nice people that helped dig my car out. Not only that, but they dug a spot in front of one of their houses so I could leave my car. One of the other guys actually took me to my appointment and insisted if I needed a ride after the appointment I could call him. I thought I’d be able to at least walk back to my car, but after about ½ a block my boots were full of snow and ended up calling my new friend Robert. He took me all the way to the train station so I could at least go to work. THEN a good friend from work, Shelisa, drove me back to my car after work. By then the snow plows had been through and I was okay to drive. Talk about eventful!

Thank you for sharing our good news with us! Merry Christmas!

Love, Ben & Kate

{The 5-Day Post Lab Report}

We got a final report from the embryologist lab this morning (Sunday, Dec 6th) and only 1 of the remaining 5 blastocysts made it to the final stage and qualifies for freezing. This does not include Monica and Ross that we already transferred.

What does that mean for our 3rd little survivor? Let's call him Joey.

•  If neither Monica and Ross turn into an embryo nor turn into a viable pregnancy, then a little later we will prepare for a similar round of IVF, but this time without the egg retrieval. At that point we will go through the process of an egg-thaw and if he makes it, we'll transfer Joey and wait that process out.

What happens if Monica and/or Ross turn into a baby? What happens to Joey?

• Joey will stay frozen in time until we make future plans regarding him.

What if after both cycles we still aren't pregnant? 

• We will go through all of the shots (about 30-40 injections and numerous blood labs) and egg retrieval process and transfer all over again.

How are we feeling?

• GREAT! Seriously. I feel like my recovery is taking unusually long after everything, but I've enjoyed taking it easy and just listening to my body if I need to take a nap or not doing any strenuous housework. Ben has been amazing. I came home yesterday after running errands and my heart was so touched at all of work he did here at home. He is my best friend. I still can't believe sometimes that I found someone who fits me so perfectly and makes something like infertility bearable.

I'll post another update around the 17th :)

{Meet Monica & Ross}

A little earlier than expected, but today (Thursday, December 3rd) turned out to be our transfer day!

Because one of my friends who is also doing IVF this month named her embryos, I mentioned it to Ben and we decided to as well....for FUN (just to clarify-these are not real names we've chosen, nor do we even know their gender).

Meet....Monica and Ross. Totally my idea. Ben doesn't get any credit because he wants to keep thinking of superhero sibling names. I write the blog, which means that I win! (My only-child syndrome seriously just came out while typing that)

All 7  of our fertilized eggs made it to today (Day 3 post retrieval).

The grading scale on the Super 7  is as follows: 3 were good+ quality; 1 was good; 1 was fair-; 2 were poor

We decided since our numbers were small to go ahead and transfer our 2 best today.

Watching the transfer process was actually really cool. I wasn't sure what to expect but I was surprised to find myself getting emotional seeing it happen. I am so glad Ben was able to be with me last minute (I only gave him an hour notice). Someday I hope he writes down his feelings about everything too. He's going to make such a good daddy.

As my friend Erin McBride would say, "Yay SCIENCE!" 

• What happens if this works? Well, we get a baby or babies! 

• What happens if this doesn't work? We will hopefully be able to use one of the other 5 embryos if they made it to Day 5 and we were able to freeze them. The reality is that possibly none of Super 7 make it. That is just nature's natural selection process and there is nothing we can do about it. We know this and we want you to know that we know this. If it happens, we will tell you, I promise. Then we will try again. 

Why are we being so open about all of this? Because we always have been. Since the miscarriage last year we found a lot of support by talking about it. It was helpful to know that we weren't alone and that there are options. It may happen again and when I get pregnant I'll probably worry  about it. I have nothing fancy to say about that.

Today though, there are nothing but happy thoughts floating around :)

And now we wait.

{IVF Egg Retrieval Update}

Update Time! We started IVF and did our first egg retrieval yesterday. We ended up with 11 eggs, of which 10 were mature. Of those 10, 7 had normal fertilization. Those little 7 embryos will sit all nice and cozy in an incubator and hopefully the cells start splitting and multiplying like crazy. On Thursday we will get another report from the embryologists and find out how they are doing. Depending on the report, we will most likely go in to the clinic and I'll receive the eggs (hopefully 2 strong and healthy ones) back via transfer on Saturday. Any remaining after that will be preserved and frozen. I am feeling okay today after the procedure, but not great. This is normal and should last for about a week or so I'm told. We are hanging in there and happy! :)

{Happy Thanksgiving Eve and Thinking of Baylee}

I should be doing homework, but after my Instagram break, I had to take a blog writing break as well. Leaving work early today and knowing I don't have to go back for a few days makes it feel like an extra special day. Even if I have school homework deadlines, I think I am allowed to goof around and procrastinate just a little bit. 

We just got back from a trip last week to see Ben's family in Louisiana. I'm sure some of his highlights include all of the sporting games we took in at Auburn, Alabama but my favorite part of the trip was seeing our two nieces and our nephew. I can't imagine loving kids more than I love them. They are incredible little humans! Being a parent someday to my own kids just might knock my socks off I'm sure.

Speaking of kids, we started IVF last week. Its real folks! I've been taking 2 shots in the stomach every night for the last week and we just bumped it up to 3 shots last night. As you can imagine it is not a pleasant experience. Ben is great and gives me all of the injections. One-time I did a shot myself and then just sat in the bathroom and cried while feeling sorry for myself, so Ben is my permanent nurse now. We get it knocked out pretty quick, but one of those shots is a devil--a gaping hole to the depths of Hades. I can't figure out why it burns so badly and feels like I am being sliced open from the inside. Nice visual, eh? I dread 10pm every night right now.

So what is next? I've been going in to the clinic every other day for blood work and ultrasounds to keep an eye on the follicles that should be growing nice big fat eggs that we hope to retrieve either this Sunday or Monday. As of yesterday there were about 15 in various sizes. We won't know for sure how many are will be good enough quality and size to fertilize until probably Saturday.

If you think the shots sound fun, just wait until I have an update after going under sedation and having a needle all up in my business this weekend. I'm more grateful than nervous. I am really am not complaining about any of the steps of this process. This is such a blessing and a gift to be able to try and grow our family this way. I say that as I'm sitting here feeling puffy and bloated (this is a normal side effect). Tomorrow is Thanksgiving and I can't wait to be gluttonous, happy and thankful for everything even more so than usual.

PS...I had to write a little bit about a little 15 year old angel that I got to meet up at the University of Utah Hospital Burn Unit back in July. Her name is Baylee Hoaldridge. She was a fighter and overcame so many odds after a tragic accident that left her 65% burned over her entire body. She endured 27 surgeries amongst other crazy trials that a human should not have to go through. I don't know what it was about her (seriously, she is a people magnet--even sedated), but every week I couldn't wait to bring our musicians in from Musicians in Motion and play for her. I wanted her to heal. I wanted her to forget about her pain for a little while. I wanted her to sing along and smile and dance. Every week I worried about her and prayed for her and just loved her from afar. I prepped every musician for Baylee, hoping it would be the week that she would be well enough for us to come in and play for her. Sadly that experience didn't get to happen, but I wished her every amazing Ed Sheeran song that she could've ever wanted. Unfortunately Sweet Bailey passed away on my birthday this year. Her courageous family knew the time had come to remove her from life support and let her return home to Heavenly Father. Last night we played the Burn Unit again. As soon as we walked in I looked down the hall to Baylee's room and saw the open door to the empty room. Yesterday also happened to be the day she had been laid to rest. There were a lot of emotions I felt being there and knowing her family was missing her so badly. I never want to forget her or her family or the thousands of people that were praying for her-check out her Facebook page (www.facebook.com/bebravebaylee). Last night our musicians, Nicole and Jordan played "You Are My Sunshine" for a few of the rooms last night. I got caught up in the music and lyrics and thought about how Baylee was just that--a piece of sunshine that we all wanted in our lives. There are going to be other Baylees in my life. I am trying very hard to not take so much for granted, to love more and to absolutely LIVE more...just like Baylee.

{Moving Forward and Options}

I am relieved and happy to report that we are moving forward with our fertility treatments!

I thought I could/should wait a year or so to raise all of the money, but Ben and I feel strongly we need to just make it happen, however we can. 

Due to timing of everything (my cycle mainly and my 38th birthday next month) we decided to try ONE MORE TIME with an IUI (artificial insemination).

We ALSO contracted and paid for our IVF treatment to begin in November.

This means, if the IUI (our 8^th and final IUI attempt) fails, we have IVF as a back-up.

On the contrary, if it WORKS (wouldn’t that be fantastic!) we get to instead use our money to put towards either IVF in the future, or ADOPTION.

We are completely grateful for these opportunities. My heart has been full and at peace this week.

The ironic part of this IUI cycle is we nearly had to move directly to IVF due to my follicle count. If that doesn’t make sense, with Newton’s Law in mind, we COULD end up with 4 babies. Not ideal of course. But going off of my past statistics we aren’t too concerned.

Ideally, we are pregnant with 1 baby and another baby comes to us through adoption.

That would be my perfect world.

Of course God knows what is best for our little family and I’ve put my COMPLETE trust and faith in Him.

Life is Good J

{#IAMSTIGMAFREE // Fighting the Stigma on Mental Illness}

{Break the Stigma}

Breaking news! 

I have something to say that is about something other than making babies and miscarriage…although we ARE starting IVF next month and everyone should totally should know that update too J

Who knew that I’d be able to get so excited about multiple needle injections of hormones that are going to make me crabby, irritable and uncomfortable for several weeks?

I don’t care. Life is just that good.

Between dating my husband, work, the burn unit and school I haven’t had a lot of time for much else in my life. I still don’t, but I managed to make the time for two more things that I feel passionate about.

I wanted to get involved with a local podcast show called “The Cultural Hall Podcast”. This is a weekly show and website that discusses all things trending in the world of Mormon-dom. I’m part of the organizational arm of the show, assisting the creator and founder by keeping schedules and being a bit bossy. Tune in, grab a snack and enjoy the chit-chat.

Last of all, did you know 1 in 4 people suffer from a form of mental illness? I am the 1 in 4.

I am the 1 in 4.

It’s something I used to hide and be ashamed of. 

In 1996 I was in high school and I just couldn't handle being known as the girl on Prozac . I didn't tell many people at all. All I really knew about the drug was that crazy people took it and were made fun of on late night TV. It was the pun to a lot of jokes. I didn't think anyone would understand.

When I was on my mission in 1999, I found my voice to speak up about my depression  because I had a mission companion suffering with it who hadn’t yet been diagnosed. In fact, it hadn’t even crossed her mind. I recognized what she was going through because that was how I felt at age 17. She did get help and thrives happily today.

Back then, I mistakenly thought I was just an unhappy person (even though I was oddly happy too) and that was my normal. It didn't make sense to me that I felt both ways. I didn’t realize life had so much more to offer me until I figured out how to deal with my imbalances.

Years later, depression led to anxiety while living in a single, perfect blonde Mormon world. There was always self-talk that was going through my head and over-analyzing everything I’d said, fearing I’d said something wrong.

I compared myself to everyone and forgot how wonderful I really was. I didn’t think anyone could love me because I was too weird. Although the depression is now totally manageable, anxiety and I are still trying learning how to play nice.

Last Saturday I was invited to participate in a music video produced and directed by a friend of mine who is a mental illness advocate, who recently learned she suffers with Bi-polar II.

What an incredible and INSPIRING project!

When a group of like-minded women get together to make a stand, break a stigma, create awareness and tell their stories, watch out! Magic happens!

This week our stories are being featured on www.dontstopsargeant.com and on Ashley Sargeant’s YouTube channel “Don’t Stop Sargeant” building up to Saturday (October 31st) when the music video goes LIVE.

We want to change the world. Seriously!

These 17 stories are people you know, maybe not personally, but they will represent a friend, a mother, a father, a sister, a brother, a wife, a husband, a son or daughter, a neighbor, or maybe just a story you’ve seen on the news.

Too many people suffer in silence. Too many people live with this trial alone, without any support, afraid of the label they will carry. Afraid that “MENTAL ILLNESS” means they are broken and forever condemned with a damning title.

The stigma of mental illness is killing us. Often literally. 

Suicide has affected too many people I know. Whether the ones who've taken their own life, or the ones left behind to try and heal, my heart aches for all of us. Please don't leave us. Please know that there is a better solution. Please?

The stigma of mental illness is limiting our compassion and understanding.

Too many people don’t even realize that their “normal” can be so much better.

Let’s figure out how to cope and educate, rather than ignore and judge each other.

My normal is different than yours, but I’ve figured it out and so can you.

These women represent all of us- male AND female.

It is my hope to be able to look past my own anxiety and fears about my story so that I can give hope to those who are looking for it too.

There is strength in numbers.

We are in this together. Cliche, but true.

LIFE REALLY IS BEAUTIFUL.

{She's a Little Bit Country and I'm a Little Bit Rock 'n' Roll}

**Guest post by one of Kate’s Best Friends: Anmaree Osmond**

She’s a Little Bit Country (and by a little bit I mean a lot…almost too much)

Kate’s great. I think we can all agree on that. I met her 15 years ago at work and we became instant friends, but that budding friendship was on thin ice just a few days later when she drove us both to lunch and she started singing along to the most awful Country song I had ever heard. I hated Country music so much, and, being the music snob I was, I just wasn’t sure I could relate to the type of person that loved Country. Okay, that is a bit of an exaggeration. I still adored her, despite her horrible taste in music (about which I teased her incessantly).

It kind of became our thing. She was a little bit Country and I was a little bit Rock ‘n’ Roll. I mocked her and Country music in general, and she just smiled and stood strong, never mocking me for my love of Rock. I was so mean about it sometimes that I don’t know how she didn’t smack me. She should have. But that is one of the things that makes Kate great. She is one of the kindest, most caring and selfless people that I know. She is beautiful on the inside and out, and I am so lucky to have her as one of my close friends. And it’s perfect that she found a nice, handsome Southern boy to share her life with. Ben and Kate are great!

Kate and I still don’t agree when it comes to music. I still hate Country. There are exceptions. For example, when I was a kid I loved the Kenny Rogers, Sheena Easton duet of “We’ve Got Tonight,” and I still do. Back then I thought it was a song about a sleepover, where they were going to watch movies, eat junk food and crank call the neighbors. Now I realize they are just agreeing through song that they both want to have a one night stand with each other. Shady, shady stuff. As a side note, it’s actually a Bob Seger song, so it’s not officially Country. I do like some other Country stuff, but overall, I just don’t like the genre.

The night we rocked at a Quiet Riot concert.

There is a point to all this, and here it is: I love my little Country Kate so much that I (quite possibly the world’s biggest Country-music hater) am willing to promote Country music for her…

Some of Kate’s friends happen to be in possession of some Garth Brooks tickets. There are eight of them and they are great seats the night of Thursday, October 29th @ 7:30pm, Energy Solutions Area, Salt Lake City, Utah (Section 19, Row 24, Seats 5-8). Can you imagine how much fun Kate would have at a Garth Brooks concert with seven of her Country-loving friends? I know how much I love my rock concerts, so it’s got to be the same for you Country folk. It’s hard to beat a fun night out with people you love, listening to the music you love. But one thing that would beat a night like that is the beat of a baby’s heart coming from Kate’s Country-lovin’ belly. So instead of one night of fun, we want to get Kate and Ben closer to their goal so they can have a lifetime and eternity of fun with their future children.

Right now you have the chance to not only see Garth Brooks, but also to help with the funds needed to get a nice Southern-style sticky bun into Kate’s oven.

These tickets were not free, so we are asking for face value ($75) and a donation of at least ($25) per ticket to Kate & Ben's IVF fund. We want to put the offer out there first for Kate’s friends, in case they (for some reason) are dying to go to Garth Brooks. You could pay the same price buying from a greedy scalper on KSL who probably plans to spend the earnings on drugs, or worse…on video games and Cheetos. Buy from Ben and Kate’s IVF fund and you can help start a cute little family.

And Kate, all I ask in return is that you play some Rock music for poor the kid once in a while!

~Anmaree Osmond

**First come first serve on the tickets. The tickets can easily be transferred to you through FlashSeats. Please note how many you would like on the donation page. All we will need once you donate (through youcaring.com/babylundyq) or (https://www.paypal.me/KateLyon/100) is your email address and name (which should come through the website once you donate, anyway). Kate will email and confirm with you right away and send you the tickets online**

{Infertility Humor}

"The only way to get through life is to laugh your way through it. You either have to laugh or cry. I prefer to laugh. Crying gives me a headache."

-Marjorie Pay Hinckley

{A Thank You Update}

Just a quick update for now to say THANK YOU to all of our donors!

We are extremely touched by the love shown to us through the donations and other messages sent privately. Here we are less than a week later and the reality is kicking in that this is actually going to happen for us.

We will fund raise until we hit our goal or get close. I found out this week that taking out a loan for the other ½ is doable for us and our bank is ready when we are.

I will be looking for other fundraising opportunities and IVF grants available. If you know of anyone that has received one these types of grants, I’d love to hear about them.

We CAN’T wait to start the process! Just this week I read about a FB friend of mine who started the IVF process in July. As of a few days ago, they gave this update:

“41 shots, 7 blood draws, 5 ultra sounds down so far and more to come. We are excited to be ending this stage! Kristi, bless her heart…desperately HATES shots, needles, blood draws, hot flashes, moodiness and other hormonal side effects, severely aching bones, etc., but know this will all be worth it.”

Talk about dreading something I’m really looking forward to. Wow!!! I know when the time comes I’ll be anxious, but there is always so much hope surrounding trying to create a little human. I love that feeling and I know it will work…eventually.

Thanks again for checking in with us! *Baby Dust to everyone that needs it!*

{Future Baby Lundquist: IVF & Fundraising}

We have started a fundraiser! Why would we do that?

I will ease your mind and confirm that nobody is dying and there have been no natural disasters--yet, here we are with a crowdfunding page at www.youcaring.com/babylundyq

It's been nearly 3 years that we have been trying to have a baby. 

Our infertility at this point is unexplained. That alone is frustrating. We have two healthy, functioning bodies, but no answers-which makes me feel guilty for even asking such a favor from anyone.

We are trying to raise about 1/2 of what we are going to need to do possibly a few rounds of in vitro fertilization (IVF). Our goal is about $15,000 (yep, that's a grand total of $30,000). Ouch, I know. 

We've tried almost everything to have a baby but obviously without success. We've been encouraged to begin a fundraiser to help supplement some of the cost. Whether or not you can help financially, we are already grateful for all of the support you've given. Seriously. We have so many good people in our life. Thank you, thank you, thank you. We couldn't have gotten through all of this without you so far.

Here is a little bit of our story leading up to the wonderful world of IVF.

Shortly after we were married we were ready grow our family. About a year later we started working with a reproductive endocrinologist. We began at one clinic, joined an infertility study, had test after test administered, (LOTS OF NEEDLES and blood work) and we did our first intrauterine insemination (IUI), but no pregnancy. I didn't really care for the facility. Nothing was particularly wrong with it, but I needed different care and attention and I found that in the Reproductive Care Center (RCC) in Sandy, Utah. 

After even more testing (LOTS of testing and LOTS of needles) for both of us (Ben even had surgery on his man-bits) it was determined that we most likely have male-factor infertility. Bummer. That kind of news doesn't help the baby-making process if you know what I mean. 

Needless to say, after Ben started taking supplements to help, we finally got pregnant doing another IUI (#2). I couldn't believe it! (Someday I'll blog about how I told him and post the video. His reaction was priceless! We even got free dinner because of it! **Thanks Texas Roadhouse in Taylorsville **

We did what newly pregnant people are told NOT to do. We told everyone. Nine weeks later, sitting in our first prenatal appointment, our hearts broke when they couldn't find a heartbeat though. 

I'm leaving out all of the nitty-gritty parts about crying, grieving, spontaneous melt-downs, etc. Needless to say, we were reassured that the good news was that we COULD get pregnant, which eventually gave us tremendous hope, despite our deep pain. But here we are--exactly 1 year later from when I found out that I was carrying our first child, and still without one. 

Since the miscarriage, we've tried 5 more IUIs (a total of 7) but haven't seen a positive pregnancy test in over a year. 

I (Kate) haven't been ready to accept the idea of in vitro fertilization (IVF) until recently. Ben has been patiently waiting on me. The financial implications are a big part of my hesitations for obvious reasons. I will be 38 years old on my next birthday in November and that not only puts me in a "high risk" category but the reality is that I am staring to run out of time to have babies. 

Our doctor at RCC offers a 100% money back guarantee that we will take home a live baby. This may mean a few tries/cycles if necessary. The 100% guaranteed refund program STARTS at $22,868 but that doesn't include medications and anesthesia. We're talking a couple thousand more. It's been tough to wrap my mind around that. 

I don't know how to ask for help with something that is so personal and non-life threatening. What if people have opinions and judge us for why we can't get pregnant or what if we do this and we STILL can't get pregnant - will we let everyone down? Will they wish they'd never helped us? What if we miscarry again? Can we handle that? Will we lose friends? Will people avoid us? Haha...I'm not kidding though. These are my concerns that have held me back from moving forward.

We know we are going to go into some debt to grow our family, but we know it will be worth it. This means even more financial sacrifices and more medical appointments and even more needles (if you aren't familiar with the procedure, you probably really don't want to know anyway - just know its not fun at all). 

Your support  (financial or otherwise) MEANS EVERYTHING to us. Thank you for being part of this journey and caring about us.

Thank you so much,

Kate & Ben

www.youcaring.com/babylundyq